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Excuse me, Mr. Christensen? I think you've dropped your beard. Or maybe she jumped ship. Has she been bickering with your boyfriend again? Keeping up images is so stressful. Still, I wonder what made her give up the game....
He did this to himself, right? Who in their right mind would pay someone else to spray paint their bald and thinning spots? Maybe the kids hid all his hairpieces again so he'd give them the keys to the Learjet....
Snicker, snicker. Oh, please. A sweet Southern belle like Reese would never sully her name and reputation like that. Little Jakey has a well-publicized bathroom fetish - he probably just went in there, made some monkey noises, washed his hands...