You know, it was really nice of you to make dinner tonight. I didn't even know you could cook. I'm still not sure about it; my stomach feels kinda funny and the room is spinning. I've never had meatloaf numb...
Because we all know how hard it is to get rid of ring-around-the-collar ... but if Mom knew how it got there she'd just throw it away. She only knows one kind of pearl necklace, you see. But man, can...
That crazy old lady next door called again today. She keeps talking about you and the pool boy banging around in her cabana. Except she doesn't have a cabana, at least not in the back yard. She said she had...
I didn't forget about you. You know I would have never left you at the bus station for twelve hours on purpose, but Grandma had one of those accidents again and I almost threw out my back taking away her...
I don't know why you put up with me. Your blotchy dishpan hands, the My Little Pony comb-over, your high-waisted polyester trousers ... you are such a ladykiller. But ever since I put that spyware in your phone you've seemed...
I hate it when you look at me like that. I'm not the one who took your dog away. I'm not running over a paparazzo's foot while trying to hide my big new lips, and I'm certainly not trying...
Aahhh, such a tangled web we read in our quest to titillate and tease. Join us for a walk down memory lane ... yes, I know it's just a week, but the short-term memory is always the first to go....
Ahh, Friday. That day we all yearn for throughout the dreary week. We made it through another seven days ... let's take a look back at what the cat dragged in this week before he yarks it up on the...
