Must be easy to get rich off your kids like that. After what they did just to be rid of you, and yet you still won't go away. What makes you think anyone wants to see that crap book of...
OK, not really, but I thought if I said something nice perhaps you could at least pretend. But no, not you. That crappy reality show of yours is sinking faster than the stock market. But you just don't know how...
Dahling, how do you do it all? You've written books and designed landmark buildings. You were a trailblazer and taught all the others how to be a cougar with class. You even survived a cheesy reality show. But will you...
Hey, it's not like you're middle-aged and paunchy - you guys are only 21, 22, right? What are you so worried about? Just because you're universally despised in your neighborhood and seem to date a succession of losers and layabouts...
Hey, if that's all you've got going for you, by all means, flaunt away. It's not like you've got anything else going for you really. Just flop out those fun bags whenever a need for publicity arises, and you should...
They say that the super-rich aren't affected by inflation and the rising cost of living, but you sure prove that one wrong, don't you? You're a prime example of the over-leveraged subprime era. Cars! Houses! A $20 million yacht! Well,...
To their Skipper and the Professor. Mary Ann doesn't count; she's always listing to port and you know she's spiking her fiber shakes. But the other two, especially the big burly one, still talk down to you. Why does he...
You must be thinking that a lot lately. It's hard to believe how things have changed for you in the last few years. It was all golden, and now it's a bit ... cheaper, but it keeps those checks rolling...
It wouldn't be the first time a billy goat jumped the fence to taste what's on the other side. I think it's more accepted socially when girls do it, and I think it happens more often between women than men....
You should have stayed with the first babymama. She had a lot of back but at least her head was on straight. She would have been happy with the arrangement indefinitely, and you only had to work a couple days...
You know, there's a lot of people who say that if it wasn't for her, you'd be nothing more than the child of a famous person. That little gig you had together put both of you on the map. And...
I know Papa told you persistence pays off, but you have to remember, he's making money no matter what you do. He gets his fee no matter what, and between you and your sister he's made himself quite comfortable. Speaking...
Some say it's the blue eyes, but that's no big deal. Your sister's eyes are the same color and that doesn't save her from ugly, so why should it save you? You've got a nice physique, but you're only 27....
Who were you just on the phone with? How come every time we get ready to go to Starbucks you send out a text-blast? I just don't get it. The kids, the dog ... I think there was a bird...
I've got a life, too, you know. While neither glamorous nor exciting, it does pay the bills, which is more than I can say for you. But I understand that your needs are unique and expensive, so we'll just have...
It's been a wild and wooly first week here at the Bosh, so I thought I'd close out the week in summary. Presented for your enjoyment as you launch your weekend of debauchery and intrigue is Flashback Friday, where I...
